I've gotten a bit of grief over yesterday's post...not from the commenters...they as usual were insightful.
Let me try to explain this. It's not that I dread Mother's Day its that I dread having to watch my self-absorbed children go through the motions of celebrating me.
I don't want one day of them being nice and waking up and realizing that "Hey, I have a mother and she's pretty cool"
I want them to realize that of all the people in their life it's their Mother (and father) that has their back 110% of the time.
I want to be able to count on when Thing 1 or Thing 2 say they'll do something around the house...that they will actually do it. I want them to come to me with a plan of how they might actually EARN some money or how they might REPAY me instead of me having to play executioner with their cars and entertainment.
I want the rules of the house obeyed. They live in my house so I still have the right to know when they will be home especially since school is still in session and one son has not graduated from High School Yet. I want to know that the people they are devoting so much time to are worthy of that time.
Thing 1 has always had trouble making friends. He is socially awkward. I am convinced that he is somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. He has some friends that he has had since middle school that are sort of going nowhere with their lives. They smoke, they are tatooed, a couple of them don't have jobs. He devotes hours and hours to them giving them rides to places, buying them food...trying to HELP them. What I'm trying to get him to understand is that he can't help other people until he knows how to help himself.
They are both Semi-Adults. They both want to be treated like REAL Adults. Neither one pays all of their own bills. Neither one is doing as well in school and they could/should
Neither son willingly helps out around the house. They constantly eat our food, use our things without putting them back or all out losing them (been missing our hammer for weeks).
I've just hit that saturation point of Teen Stupidity.
I know this is very commonplace. I know that I am not the first to be going through this nor will I be the last. I know there is a lot to still be grateful for where my kids are concerned.
I just don't want to deal with the hypocrisy of Mother's Day.
I love my children with everything in me. I have truly done my best. I have fought major battles, stayed up countless hours to help with homework. I have shelled out tons of money for tutors and doctors and everything I could think of to make sure they were taken care of.
I tried not to spoil them. We didn't have the money for the latest and greatest of everything and I have made them work for their own cars and pay their own car insurance. I've tried. I've made them work.
It's funny because if ANYONE else asks them to do something...they jump right up and will bend over backwards to help that person out. They respect authority and I get nothing but compliments about their manners and behavior.
I know all about Tough Love. I am just tired.
What do I want for Mother's Day...I want the Wizard of Oz to give them both a brain, a heart and some courage to do what's right.
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4 comments:
As far as I'm concerned Mother's Day is another day for the candy, flower, and card industry.
When I was younger (and didn't have a clue about life), I wondered why they had Mother's Day...i mean its not like she didn't have a Birtday...i thought that should be enough for a person. To me, it was just another day to fulfill her "no fighting" request.
I'm thinking this is the stage of thinking of your 2 boys. I'm thinking they won't really get it until they have any of their own and even then their wives will have to nag them to remember a gift, etc.
So basically I'm wondering who even came up with the holiday...sure wasn't a man. Why would he want to have one more day to remember and show appreciation.
Can you tell I'm mentally irregular?
oooOOOOhhh - (big sigh) - I'll I can say is "I know..."
just an update on my mental irregularity...my boys both brought home the cutest homemade mother's day gifts from school. Broox wrote the most heartfelt note that brought tears to my eyes. Soooo maybe I have a few more years before the teenage mentality kicks in.
WOW. . .do I know this feeling but with 12 and 13 year old girls!! Thanks for putting it in words. I plan on printing it and letting them see I am not the only one with these "unfair" requirements!! Again, thanks.
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