I know….I know! The last time I posted was February 4. That was over a month ago. But I do have the usual run of the mill excuses. The dog ate my computer at home and a strong gust of wind carried my work computer out the window. I have been dwelling in a distant universe (that one might actually be true). Would you believe that I got stuck in an elevator and my alarm clock stopped working. Then my pet snake died and I just wasn’t in the mood for thinking. Then my mom missed her flight…the one she was supposed to take so that she could wake me up in time to Blog.
The real reason I have been incommunicado is that I have teenagers…cue sad violin music please.
I have been dealing with all sorts of typical teenage drama. Girlfriends, homework, college applications, financial aid applications, taxes etc. etc. etc. Sometimes the nitty-gritty of life just doesn’t seem worth writing about because I’m just living the movie Groundhog’s Day. This monotonous daily life that I have been living lately brought me to realize that I am a truly BORING person and that I need to get a life.
Right now one of my biggest concerns is that Thing 2 not totally destroy his future aspirations by being a complete idiot. The kid is suffering with a major case of SENIORITIS!
The AMA doesn’t recognize Senioritis as a legitimate seasonal affliction. This esteemed body doesn’t recognize the effect of sugar ingestion on children’s behavior either. As any preschool parent can testify, too much sugar leads to a hyper kid. As any parent with a teenager can testify second semester senior year, leads to Senioritis.
The symptoms of Senioritis are many and varied. Among the most reported symptoms are the desire to sleep through first period, either in school or at home during school. The delusional belief that upon acceptance by a college (he’s been accepted to 4) his spring semester grades are no long of any importance. That $682.00 is a reasonable price to pay for a gold plated ring with an ersatz gemlike stone.
An interesting variation of Senioritis is Prom Complex. The prom becomes fixated in the minds of those with this affliction as the most significant event in the whole of human existence. The symptoms presents differently in males and females. In females there develops an obsession with finding the perfect prom dress. This relentless inner drive may lead to marathon shopping sprees. Malnutrition, fatigue and poor taste are dangers to be watched for. In males, the obsession is finding the hottest date. Treating others unkindly and lack of good judgment are common for those males experiencing Prom Complex.
There is an oft-reported complication in sufferers of Senioritis over the age of 18. Adultition: the erroneous belief that because the afflicted ones are 18 their parents no longer have any say over how the afflicted conduct their lives.
The treatments of Senioritis while onerous is of short duration. There is not much that can be done to treat the afflicted seniors. They know it all already. Caretakers, usually parents, are advises to pick their battles, hold on to their tempers, their credit cards, and their sense of the absurd. It also helps to enlist the assistant principal and have the senior’s parking pass revoked for a couple of weeks. Hopefully the agony and embarrassment of not being able to cruise through the school parking lot in your very own vehicle will be enough to jolt Thing 2 out of his idiotic reverie.
The affliction usually runs it course by graduation.
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3 comments:
I know you think this is all run of the mill, groundhog day type of stuff....but for the rest of us, it is a timely warning.
And a bit of a walk down memory lane. (shhh, don't tell thing 2 that I ever had senioritis, I'll deny, deny, deny!)
It's the home stretch girl, you can do it.
We have a senior as well but he IS a groundhog so not too much senioritis going on here. But your diagnosis is right on target. We have been through it with two others - it's nice to know it isn't chronic.
I have to comment again. The timing was too perfect not to share - our groundhog *does* have senioritis. He came home yesterday spouting the "grades don't really matter anymore" defense and spent the afternoon interjecting about how dumb school is and the last comment was "can I take the GED?"
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