Hey Y’all! Remember that’s North Carolinian for You All! There's SNOW in the forecast for early tomorrow morning. SNOW, people. In fact the National Weather Service says it will be a SNOW EVENT. Channel eight is calling it a WINTER STORM. SNOW is all anyone around here is talking about. SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW.
From all the hoopla and the excitement, you'd think a Little House on the Prairie-style blizzard is on its way. Surely, snow will blanket our house and cover up our windows and doors. Small children will get lost in snow drifts on their way to school. Widespread power outages will have us splintering our dining room chairs and using the pieces for firewood. We'll drink melted snow and we'll all sleep together in one big bed for warmth. SNOW is coming! SNOW SNOW SNOW!
As much as an inch and a half of it, according to the latest reports!
Snow panic is an annual tradition in the South. We don't get very much of it, therefore its forecasted arrival is treated with the same reverence and fear as the announcement that aliens will be stopping by for a visit. Today, Food Lion, Walmart and Harris Teeter will no doubt be overrun with locals stocking up on bread, milk, beer and white powdered donuts. And when the flurries start early tomorrow morning, drivers either think they can handle any weather conditions and continue to speed along or they will slow down to a crawl, hugging their steering wheels and peering fearfully through their windshields. Despite the self-imposed 5 mph speed limit, there will be about a thousand fender benders on the roads.
Our last snow event came on December 18. The same day I had tickets to go see the Nutcracker. We went ahead and forged on through the bad weather, enjoyed the show and then on the way home we saw, and this is no exaggeration people…30 cars perhaps more in the ditches. The snow only lasted for a couple of days.
Also? Everything will close, except for the television stations, which means some cheesy reporter will likely be two counties away at five am tomorrow morning, tracing a finger through the light dusting on a car's windshield at some gas station, holding it up to the camera, and proclaiming to the morning anchors, all warm and cozy back at the station, "SNOW! SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW!" And from their homes, thousands of people will stand in front of their television sets and squeal with a mixture of delight and terror.
SNOW, people. SNOW SNOW SNOW.
However Elon will not close because we have college age students who when left to anticipate a snow day will drink themselves into oblivion. We seriously have more alcohol related issues during bad weather than at any other time.
Tonight, children all over the south will follow the time-honored tradition of schoolchildren across the state and wear their pajamas inside-out. They will put an ice cube in the toilet. They will place a white crayon in the freezer. They will dream of snowmen. And thanks entirely to their efforts, when they wake up tomorrow morning, there is likely to be SNOW falling.
SNOW SNOW SNOW!
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4 comments:
That was funny. Here in Utah when it snows it is business as usual. There have been several feet of snow and they still don't cancel school.
It's business as usual in San Jose too since when it snows, it only snows on our mountains but we get all SNOW, SNOW, SNOW about it anyway. I guess if you live in the mountains it wouldn't be business as usual.
Those are some interesting and superstitious rituals y'all have down there in the south.
I admit, I am one of the self imposed 5 mile per hour snow drivers. I hate driving in it and I wish with all my heart that Utah would just shut down as soon as there is more than 1/8 of an inch sticking. But no, they still excpect us to bust out in it.
As a California girl, I don't dig the snow either...
But, that my NC friends, was HILL-arious!
Enjoy the SNOW SNOW SNOW!!!
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