I Meet the Most Interesting People

Earlier today I ran in a convenience store to get a bottled water and some BBQ Baked Lays to munch on while I drove to a press check in Greensboro. I hate press checks and so I needed something to make the trip seem worth while.

I walked up to the counter to pay, and while the clerk was ringing up my stuff, she started a conversation.

“I can’t eat this kind,” she said, pointing at my chips.

“Really?”

“Naw. They’re too greasy.”

“Oh. Okay.”

I couldn’t help but wonder why she thought my BAKED Lays would be greasy. But I decided that I would just give the nonchalant “Oh ok” answer and try and get out of there quickly as the smoke from her cigarette was making my eyes water.

“Tell you what I do like, though. I like them salt and vinegar pork rinds. I can eat them.”

“Really?”

“Aw, yeah. They got a little less sodium, too. I really do watch that sodium.”

I thought about pointing out the ironies of watching your sodium and eating SALT and vinegar pork rinds, but not having compared the per serving sodium content of the various pork rind brands, I figured I’d keep my mouth shut and take her word for it. After all I do live in the south and Pork Rinds are a sacred food around these here parts. Y’All, that’s North Carolinian for you all, have no idea how crazy the food is here in outermongolia.

At this point she was putting my stuff in a bag, and I was just about to walk away from the cash register with my tasty snack treats when she gave me way more information than I needed:

“See, I retain LOTS of water. Have a REAL hard time getting rid of it. You have a good day, hon!”

And now, even two hours later, all I can picture is that woman, sitting behind the counter at the Chevron, retaining more and more water by the second while she eats pork rinds and smokes greasy Virginia Slims.