Fall brings not only the fall season, but also the "open enrollment" for benefits season at many places of business. Elon being no exception, in a couple of weeks will be having our annual Benefits Fair where people will push each other around at vendors tables in order to get pens, mousepads, letter openers and maybe a cookie. Oh yeah, and information about whatever benefits are represented.
Each year, we eagerly anticipate what "new and exciting" benefits will be offered to mask the fact that health insurance premiums will go up and fewer things will be covered. While these "new and exciting" offers will, no doubt benefit someone out there, there are a few benefits I'd like to see to truly help me out:
1. Parking Place Insurance - for a nominal premium, you'd be guaranteed your desired parking place right outside your office. More importantly, however, if you have to leave the premises and return, your place would still be there.
2. Target Spending Account - you could put away a sum of money before taxes in order to reimburse yourself for anything procured at Target.
3. Accidental Cashless Coverage - never go hungry again! Out of cash? Forget you ATM card or checkbook? Plain ol' broke? Present your cashless card and receive enough money for lunch so you don’t have to keep eating the same old PB&J.
4. Emergency Child Transportation Coverage - Someone would be dispatched to take enrolled child participants to sports practice or lessons when your previous arrangements fall through. Can be used at least twice a year to pick-up after an away soccer game two counties over when the child doesn’t get back to the school until 11p.m. a whole hour after your personal pumpkin time.
5. Short Term Dinner Disability Insurance - covers you when you haven't been to the grocery or are just in a rut. Meals are planned and prepared by nutritionists and chefs are waiting for you when you get home in the evening.
6. Parental Math Abilities Max-ed Out Homework PPO - an "in-network" math teacher comes to your house at homework time when it has been proven that you can no longer do the high school math without serious consequences to your brain or your child’s GPA.
We already have an errand-running service here in real life, but so far they don't do much that is of any use to me, but I'd say my type of benefits would certainly be worth, oh, say an extra $5 a month.
*off to stuff Employee Suggestion Box*
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3 comments:
Very creative! I would love to have all those services...but they are probably much more beneficial to the working mother. Too bad its going to take about a month to transfer my RN license. :)
I would like to request an on-call nanny to entertain Cooper till I get caught up on my moving stuff...funny that I have time to blog.
How about some sort of laundry "benefit" - when a certain number of socks hit the floor, some sensor goes off and then the laundry ladies and lads appear to take care of your laundry needs. This would keep everyone in clean socks, etc... thus providing cleaner, fresher rooms and work spaces... thus happier employees... etc
Great ideas. How about a sickness averter? A germ detector, an invisible bubble, to go around yourself and your children and your house. Bugs come near, BEEP BEEP BEEP....
you can break out the sanitizer, wash hands more thoroughly and hopefully avert the stinkin' H1N1. :(
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