I had a revelation today,
as I passed by the pile of laundry on my closet floor,
the boys clothes draped across the family room couch,
the full stale laundry stench emanating from Brien’s room,
the folded clothes on top of the dryer,
the handwashed sweater hung over the ironing board to dry,
the unmatched socks littering the laundry area,
the dirty towels piled in front of the washing machine,
and the trail of clothes encircling my bed like an island.
This is what drives women to madness.
Utter madness.
The inability to finish laundry, I think, has sent
countless otherwise sane women, to special places,
with padded rooms and therapists.
Why?
They want to go somewhere where they don't have to do laundry.
I'm sure you think nudist colonies were founded by hippies
longing to get free from the restraints of society.
Not so.
This movement was, in fact, encouraged by a band of mothers,
who refused to keep doing laundry.
Their children hounded them for clean socks one too many times.
And something snapped.
These mothers said,
"That's it. No more clothes for you. You're going naked."
What choice did the children have? They had to form a colony.
Once I actually got to the bottom of the hamper.
I came back three minutes later and someone had tossed socks in.
There is a rumor that I was found, rocking,
in fetal position, murmuring, "The clothes are against me."
I will neither confirm or deny this rumor.
As I type, I know I have to go back home,
with my game face on and deal with the laundry.
It must be done.
But I have a dream.
Someday all the socks will match.
And someone else will empty the lint trap.
The hampers will be emptied because someone actually did their laundry instead of throwing their clothes on the floor NEXT to the hamper. (How can a kid who gets straight A’s not know how to put clothes into a basket?)
The towels will be folded.
And I will never ever have to put away clothes again.
It's never wrong to dream big, girls....
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4 comments:
You could have written this any other day of my mothering life and I would always be able to say "I need to do laundry too" In fact, I can hear the washer spinning right now...
It's laundry day here too. I'm trying not to think about the pile of dirties that will be there at the end of all my hard work today.
I love football season because Adam will sit and fold laundry while he watches football on Monday night. I always wash everything on Monday and fold it all that night. I actually like laundry, but I have all day to get it washed, that is the difference.
I finally ditched the lids to the laundry baskets because they were just too much for Gary to handle...my mom gave me the idea. "But there's reasoning behind those lids..." I went on. She simply said, "Do you want the dirty clothes in the hamper or not?" It works. Not sure what to tell you about throwing clothes next to the hamper.
Seriously the only thing that get's me thru laundry some days is imagining that I have to use one of those dang laundry boards that we now decorate with and then hang them all out to dry...oh yeah and begin the process by carrying water on your head from the local "clean" well water. But then I think "they didn't have as many clothes back then." That keeps me from the mall. :)
Pathetic but yes, I have time to think about the subject too. Ahhh!
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