Stacey & Clinton have repeatedly ignored my pleas for help!

Dear Internets I have a dilemma. They are instituting a casual Friday and I need a sassy, casual outfit. !

You see I have fallen into the working mother trap (I usually only purchase clothing appropriate for work which I also wear for church). Then I have a pair of jeans and a couple pairs of capris. I have not been casual clothing shopping in a very, very long time. But this whole 80’s fashion comeback has had me in a bit of a dither, because in addition to the fact that the clothes were (and are!) ugly, I now have to re-think what I like to call my “mom uniform” – what I wear when I’m out running errands, when I go to book club or a baby shower, when I want to convey the message that “I may be a mom, but I’M STILL SASSY.

The sad part is that when I’m not intentional about being Sassy Mom or working mom, I tend to convey the message that “I am a mom, and I have given up completely.” There’s not much of a happy medium with me.

When I’m Sassy Mom, I have red undertone highlights in my hair - I have a fun haircut with what I like to call “lots of piece-y thingies.” I (try to) coordinate my clothes so that I look a little funky – yet modest and age appropriate – and I put on some mascara and lip gloss.

I know!

But when I’m i’ve-given-up mom, I have roots that are two inches long. I begin to use my sunglasses like a headband (on a good day – mostly I just surrender to the clippy). I throw on a t-shirt over a pair of stretchy capri pants, and nary a trace of make-up touches my face.

SO not sassy. But SO much easier.

And therein lies my dilemma.

Sassy Mom can usually put on a pair of boot cut pants, some fun shoes, a white t-shirt and a denim jacket and look presentable. My other favorite option is a knee-length skirt and some form of cotton shirt (don’t all moms have about 15 cotton shirts? isn’t that some sort of requirement for motherhood? don’t they, like, take your babies away if you can’t produce evidence of your cotton shirt collection?) with some fun, chunky sandals. I NEED a chunky sandal to balance out my calves that I inherited from my father (Not my mother Katie! I have the McGiven TREE TRUNK Legs and that extends to my calves)

McGiven tree trunk legs are enormous. I can do four calf extensions and my calf muscles will practically ricochet out of the back of my legs. It’s so bad that I can’t wear boots unless there’s stretchy fabric involved, and even then the boots are so tight around my calves that I lose a great deal of the circulation in my feet. Which is a problem when, you know, walking. And please understand that the substantial calf muscles have absolutely nothing to do with actual physical effort and everything to do with the aforementioned genetics. And now this sidenote has taken on a slightly disturbing tone and I will cease with the talk of the calves.)

So anyhoo.

I was talking about what, exactly?

Oh yes. Clothes. And my dilemma.

Now that the 80’s stuff is in style again, what in the world will Sassy Working Mom wear?

Because I can guarantee you that it won’t be skinny jeans. No ma’am.

LEGGINGS? I don’t think so. I mean, if I’m going to have to wear leggings and flats again, I’d just as soon resign myself to i’ve-given-up mode and call it a fashion-challenged day.

I guess I could start working out so that I can run around in my workout clothes and do the whole Busy-Mom-Who-Just-Left-The-Gym look, although I think that would be entirely too casual for “Casual Friday.”

I need some ideas that don’t include any 80’s fashion trends or a chic yoga ensemble that would require me pretending that I’ve just left the gym or worse…actually exercising.

Which brings me to my question (and praise the Lord for that, you’re thinking): what do you wear when you’re running your errands? Do you sass it up? Or do you dress it down? Or do you have the whole Busy-Mom-Who-Just-Left-The-Gym thing down pat?

And if you tell me that you’re running around town in a pair of skinny jeans, my calves and I are going to be very distressed indeed.