Sweet Southern Sister

I am a little sad today. A very sweet lady in my ward, that I visit teach, passed away today. She was 93-years-young. I have been visiting her for about two years now.

She had been residing in an assisted living home and she and I got to be very good friends. Every week I would sneak in a little bit of “forbidden food” and in return she would teach me how to be SOUTHERN. She once told me that “For a Yankee, you’re not so dumb and I kinda like you.” High praise indeed and a compliment that I will always treasure.

I will share with you some of the SOUTHERN lessons entrusted to me by the incomparable Sista Suzanne Souissant. She’s from New Orleans or as she would tell you NAAR-LAAANS, born and raised in the French Quarter so she was not only Southern she was Cajun Spicy Southern and I loved her!

Souissant’s Fourteen “RULES” for Southern Ladies

1. That curio cabinet is just a glorified what-not stand.

2. Sushi? You mean you pay this much for bait and then you actually eat it? Well, I never!

3. God did not want you to expose your midriff for the world to see. If he had he would not have created belly buttons. What kind of stupid… sticks an earring in that tender place?

4. Speaking of exposing- What on earth was that Spears girl thinking? Her poor ole' mama.

5. Let me get this straight. You were in labor for how long, had access to narcotics, and you turned them down????!!!!!

6. Are you actually trying to pass off those frozen biscuits for homemade?

7. Never wear white after Labor Day. I- don't- care- what- Hollywood- says.

8. Don't be afraid of hard work. But, never let them see you sweat. You go ahead and glisten, girl.

9. Things you must have with you at all times- lipstick, face powder, Kleenex, and grace.

10. Remember, if God said it, that settles it, whether you believe it or not.

11. There are some things that should be left to the imagination.

12. There is a time and a place for all things.

13. This interknitting web stuff you girls are doing is about the silliest thing I ever heard of! When do you have time to get your hair washed and set on Fridays?

14. You Said a mouthful girl. Now sit down and shuck that corn there's taters to peel when yer done and beans to string. My Lord have mercy child it's picking time and the Good Lord will be back before we know it.