I have boys. I have always purchased jeans and t-shirts with the obligatory dark pants, white shirt and tie for church. Shopping for Christmas and Birthdays always included some sort of Super Hero toy or game…in fact even though they are teenagers that hasn’t changed much. When Brien graduated from High School next to a laptop his number one choice of gift was a remote control dinosaur…we got it for him. That probably explains a lot about our family.
This weekend my boys and I were talking about Super Heroes because the new X-Men movie is out, Wolverine. We were debating the pros and cons of the various characters and which super powers we would want to have. This morning as I was trying to simultaneously get dressed, brush teeth, apply mascara and cook breakfast I got to thinking- if I were a super hero, what would I be?
First of all, let me say that Batman has always been my favorite. I think it had something to do with Michael Keaton's voice saying, "I'm Batman." Even so, he was my favorite as a kid. I also liked Spiderman because he could climb anything. (I was a tree climber, so I could just picture myself scaling the side of a skyscraper.)
And of course, deep-breath, Wonder Woman. Well, she is just in a category all by herself.
Superman has never impressed me a whole lot. Sure, he can fly. He's really strong. So, he has x-ray vision. But, something about that tacky outfit, well, he isn't all that super to me.
That leads us to my question- What kind of a super hero would I be?
It seems that there are a few key components to being a super hero-
1) Super powers
2)Enemies,
and the most important one of all
3) the Outfit!
1) My Super Powers- Once we get passed the "Miss America I would wipe out world hunger and teach everyone in the whole wide world to read campaign and solve the mid-East peace crisis", my first order of business would be to install carnival mirrors (the one that makes you skinny!) in all dressing rooms and homes. I would then instantly change all of the women's clothing labels to 3 sizes- "fits most", "fits all", and "dahhling, you look mahvelous!"
A fountain of Youth will be installed for every woman- Diet Coke (or your preferred beverage) will bubble up in the front yard of every woman's home in the form of a sparkling, sugar free spring. Those who drink from the free flowing fountain, will add years to their life, and lose inches and wrinkles instantly.
I would have the ability to discipline unruly children at restaurants, grocery stores…might as well say all public places, with my super hero "mommy look".
Although I do not fly myself, I will have another super hero fly me around in my very visible Wonder Woman spin-off airplane. The only difference is that you can see the plane, not me, and it is quite fabulous.
In an I Dream of Jeannie blink of an eye, all dust, laundry, and cellulite will disappear. I make house calls, too.
Two blinks of an eye- everything at Wal-Mart, Target and Big Lots is BOGO!
2) My enemies- My true nemesis is Spandex Girl. She wears a very tight fitting leotard and goes around contaminating the Fountain of Youth Springs, replacing the beverages with high fructose corn syrup. Then, she paints the side of my very fabulous plane in a hideous shade of Pea green. Her most deviant plot involves the replacement of the skinny carnival mirrors with the fat carnival mirrors. EEEEK!
3) My costume- An old t-shirt, some comfy pajama pants, and super soft fuzzy socks.
Up! Up! And away!!! Did I mention I can leap piles of dishes in a single bound...
What would your super hero powers be?
Holley & Dane
5 comments:
That was our theme last year for Girls Camp. We had to come up with a name and 3 super powers. I let the girls decide and I didn't agree with all their choices, but it turned out great. We did a skit that was very funny. These powers of course centered on the gospel. I like the ones you came up with, so I guess I would only add a spiritual element just because I've been there. I probably wouldn't have thought of it otherwise. Anyway I guess my superpowere would have something to do with bringing the gospel to everyone in the world and eliminating all the evil in the world like how savagely people attack others for having a point of view different from their own.
You are too funny. I think that I would never be sick. That I would always be healthy and that all I would have to do for exercise is think about it and I would lose the weight that I want and keep it off.
I would want to go around zapping everyone who was hurting, so they would feel better. I hate it when people are sad. I could be saying this because I'm listening to "I had a bad Day" while I'm typing this. I would also be able to sap and fix anything broken. i could be saying this because my garage door just fell off, and Beau broke a window with a baseball. And I would want a really cool super Suit, it definitely would have pink in it. I would have long hair with a head band. And I would fly, and have long shiny boots.
Wow! You truly have an imagination that I cannot compete with. I guess my super powers would have to be related to nursing since you hit all the mommy/woman ones that I could ever hope for or dream of. I would have the power to take away pain without side effects (like breathing issues) and any other health problem I could just fix with that concentrated look that Superman can do...man, that would be the day. Oh yeah and as for anxiety while taking care of difficult issues---GONE! I like this make believe stuff....back to laundry now (dang it).
We have had this exact conversation at our house. I thought it was hilarious that we talked about it at all, but I love having those conversations with my kids. They say the most intelligent people talk about ideas, not other people, so I like when we are having what I consider an "intelligent" conversation about which superhero we actually consider super.
My powers: I would have be able to give the gift of self esteem to all who need it. The world would be an amazing place if we all felt good about ourselves. Less negativity, less self-loathing, more acceptance.
My outfit would of course make me look fabulous. Dark jeans, high sexy boots (which would not hurt or be difficult to walk in) and a fitted shirt that isn't skanky.
I could never love a superhero that likes Lois Lane, never!
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