Remember the straightjacket I eluded to on a previous post…..
Dear Shampoo Bottle:
Lather, rinse and repeat. Three reasons why this is not possible: 1) I have teenagers who use up all the hot water and so I’m lucky to get luke warm water and as I’m not itching to experience hypothermia I’ll be doing good to rinse once. 2) Since my hair has decided to revolt and not be content with the cheap Suave products anymore leading to…3) Economic downturn has wiped out a lot of my retirement and I can’t risk any more money going down the drain…literally (Hee Hee – I do amuse myself) I must be frugal and use the ritzy salon shampoo sparingly.
Mr. Conditioner:
Leave on for three minutes. Yeah, right – did you forget about the two teenagers who use up all the hot water….and we’ll not even talk about the husband who likes long hair and that means that it takes an eternity to dry and style it…. So who has the time to wait around.
Ms. Moisturizer:
Apply nightly. So what if it’s 8am. I promise you my skin does not know the difference between day cream and night cream.
Apply over clean dry skin. One outta two is not bad.
Nail Polish
Apply Top Coat over basecoat. Sorry. Top Coat not within reach. Base coat will do. I live on the edge. I take chances like that. Plus it’s clear, as in devoid of color, who’s going to know?
Silly Package
Open This End. Must. Open Other end. Cannot. Stop. Self. (wrestling one hand with the other)
Use a dime size drop. I’m an American! If a dime is good, four quarters is better!
Use only as directed. Haaaaa! That would mean I had read the directions.
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1 comment:
I have one teenage girl here and I dread getting into the shower after her. Sometimes when I get in the shower before her I secretly stay in the shower longer than I should in hopes that she will know what I am talking about when I say, "The hot water does not last forever!"
I use cheap Suave as shaving cream on my legs, nice and smooth!
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