Most days I am content to be 41. Honestly, I don't think about my age all that much. Except on Dec. 26 (my birthday) and my brother Sean calls me to rub it in that I’m in my 40’s…the only one of my siblings for now. I Get up, make breakfast, make lunches, go to work, do laundry, clean the house, make dinner, go the grocery store...with all that glamorous stuff going on all day, who has time to think about their age? Unless it just creeps up on me.
So yesterday, I'm standing at my bathroom counter getting ready for church. We just switched to afternoon church so I can linger a bit in the getting ready process. Now this process is not that involved. A little rub of this, a spot of that, teeth and hair brushed, and I'm done. Yesterday though I decide to pull out the magnifying glass and tweeze my eyebrows. But, wait. What's this? A hair from my head that has fallen onto my eyebrow.
No. It's a TWO INCH LONG eyebrow.
What the heck? If my body is going to just spontaneously decide to expend a little extra energy on something, why did it choose to grow an eyebrow out that I could tie into a ponytail? Couldn't it have decided to burn all the cellulite off of my thighs? Or how about my lips? Couldn't it have put all of that energy into plumping them up big and sexy? I'd like big, sexy lips and nice, firm thighs.
So now I'm wondering what else freaky is going on with my body. Do I need to check my back for long hairs? Is one toenail going to grow 4 inches longer over night?
Do not trust your body, people. It will wait years, lull you into a false sense of security, and then -wham - make you look like an idiot.
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2 comments:
That's funny! Not the fact that you found a long eyebrow but the fact that you can describe your experiences so well and bring a little light (laughter) on our aging bodies. (OK I know I'm only 28 but I feel like I'm forty (I think) so does that count?)
I'm hoping Vioxx gets back on the market soon!
I remember my first gray hair. I thought it was super interesting, I was mid 30s and I named that hair, Mackson, after my son who gave it to me.
I've also had nasty long eyebrow hairs, not many, but a few. Its nasty. For now, I'm going to consider these developments interesting, but very soon I will be completely annoyed. Like when I get age spots, or my hands turn to a wrinkled mess, or my skin slithers back to place when I pinch and pull it up. Ewww.
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