In Which I Offer Irrefutable Proof that I AM LAME!

There have been several defining moments in my life that have established beyond all reasonable doubt that I have officially become a grown-up.

The first time this happened to me was when I looked at the Billboard Top 10 and realized that I couldn’t hum even one of the songs if you offered me a million dollars.

And then, last week, one of my student workers was showing me a CD of a band she really likes, and I said, “Oh, I’ve never heard of Oar.”

She looked at the floor for a second - long enough for me to know that I’d made a major gaffe - and I said, “What? Is that not how you say it? Is it not pronounced like the thing you row a boat with?”

She looked at me sort of sheepishly and said, “Um, no ma’am. It’s pronounced Oh-Ay-Are. You, um, just say the letters.”

I’m telling you: it was just like the time my mom called Rick Springfield “Rick Springsteen.” I was 14 and was, like, SOOOOO embarrassed because how could she not know the difference?!? I mean, Rick SPRINGSTEEN? WHAT-EV-ER! Rick Springfield was, like, SO much cooler than Bruce Springsteen. Had she not seen Rick sporting a sleeveless t-shirt in the “Jesse’s Girl” video?

Because he totally ROCKED IT, y’all (remember that’s North Carolinian for you all).

But then, you know, “Oar.”

I said “Oar.”

And suddenly my mother and I are equally out of touch with the pop culture pulse of America.

Anyway, I’ve had several “Oh my word I’ve become my mother” moments. The unfortunate “Oar Incident,” was just the latest in a long line of moments. Don’t get me wrong, my mother is awesome and I truly aspire to be like her. But I don’t think I’ve ever had a stronger epiphany about the fact that Yes, I Am A Grown-Up than I did today.

Brien has his Eagle Scout Board of review today. His scout master called to make sure that he had the full scout uniform. Now I have purchased many scout related paraphernalia over the years, but for some reason Brien doesn’t have a complete uniform. So the scout master says his son, who happens to be Brien’s size, doesn’t use his uniform anymore and Brien could have it.

Y’all.

You would have thought that someone had offered me bags of money.

I was beside myself with happiness. Because OFFICIAL BOY SCOUT UNIFORMS are EXPENSIVE! We being a family with only one income could not afford to deck him out in the royal boy scout attire. Which is totally stupid because aren’t boy scouts supposed to be THRIFTY! Well I am here to tell you there is nothing THRIFTY about the cost of an OFFICIAL BOY SCOUT UNIFORM.

So this afternoon, I drove right over to the scout master’s office and picked up my FREE uniform stuff. Brien of course being the self-absorbed teenager that he is, says “why can’t we just buy the uniform? I don’t want to wear other people’s clothes.”
I must admit that I would have been the same spoiled way as a teenager.

Now as a 40-something GROWN-UP? I was all, “YAY! YAY! FREE UNIFORM!

It was like Christmas. So in keeping with the spirit, I pulled up my Christmas playlist on I-Tunes and rocked out.

Yes I got the stares from my co-workers. You know…. The “I can’t believe you are playing Christmas music this early” stares.

What can I say…. With a name like Holley Berry and a FREE OFFICIAL BOY SCOUT UNIFORM, how can you not celebrate. Besides I’m a grown-up now, I don’t care what other people think.