Fits on Friday

Hi! You know what? I sure am annoyed lately! I must speak to my doctor about sudafed and mental illness drugs... but until then I am going to rant because it makes me feel oh so much better.

Things that annoy me today and it’s only 10:33 a.m.

1 - Drivers who reluctantly slow down at stop signs and give the pedestrian a testy little wave, as if to say, “I am doing you an enormous favor. Now scurry along before I change my mind and mow you down.” There needs to be a new obscene hand gesture that indicates, “Hey,jerk, guess what? I don’t need your permission. Stop signs aren’t optional so don’t act like you’re so very generous and I should be grateful. And you’re a jerk.” I’m not talking obscene like giving the bird and all the nastiness that implies, I don’t want to be vulgar and insinuate body parts and what you can do with them, I’m talking a gesture that just let’s the person know just how jerky you think they are. I should probably consult the American Sign language book, maybe one has already been invented. I must begin work on this gesture immediately. To the laboratory!

2 - The telephone company and bundled services!!!!!
Recently, I got a message on my cell phone that my service was going to be disconnected for non-payment. Since my phone bill is paid automatically every month by my work, and has been ever since I got a cell phone, I did not see how this could be.

So I put in a call to see what the problem was. After obediently listening to all my options because they might have changed since the last time I called in, I pushed every button exactly in the prescribed manner. Finally, 25 short minutes later, I finally had a human on the end of the line – Bobbie Jo from Bangladesh!

I very carefully told her my story about how I have always paid my bill And then she transferred me and I told two of her friends my story and they both transferred me and I told two of their friends, and so on and so on. I was just like Heather Locklear in that shampoo commercial from the 80s! I told everyone in Asia my story in painstaking detail, including my name, account number, zip code, zodiac sign, and that I once had dinner with Benazir Bhutto, I was going for the solidarity thing. Until finally I was transferred to Darryl in building maintenance where this fun fun game ended when he disconnected me. At this point, my boiling blood was racing through my arteries at the speed of light which caused my eyeballs to pop clear out of my head, bounce off my computer and roll under my desk.

Later I learned that the phone company had bundled my cell phone with my home phone stuff, but it never appeared on my home phone bill, they decided to keep it secret and instead they decided that they should threaten to cut my phone service off for non-payment. And it only took two or seven hours of my free time to track down and solve their problem. Doesn’t everyone want to spend their free time on the phone doing pro bono work for the phone company? Really, can you think of anything more fun? Then this morning my Web phone bill shows up and I find out that they messed that up which necessitated a call to Bobby Jo in Bangladesh again!! Which made my non-sudafed fed nose runnier and cloggier all at the same time.