Do you remember how, when you were a kid and you misbehaved, your parents would say to you, something along the lines, ‘I hope when you grow up, you get a kid just like you.’ And you would make some wisecrack remark like,’As long as they aren’t like you.’
And your parents would laugh, and you thought they were laughing at your oh-so-funny, oh-so-clever and original remark. Turns out they were laughing because they knew that in another 20 years or so the next generation would exact their revenge for them.
They were willing to wait!
Lately life with Brien has been a real struggle. We are butting heads constantly. He is desperately trying to grow-up and exert his independence and I am desperately trying to keep him a child. He really is still a child in a mans body. I don’t know why I expect him to listen to my wisdom, I never listened to my parents wisdom. I was determined to learn everything the hard way.
And so now I find myself in the position of mother/dominatrix and its really hard. I want to have a good and fun relationship with my boys, but at the same time I want them to be responsible and make good choices. I want them to learn the value of hard work. These are things my parents instilled in me. I know I just need to have patience after all, I finally turn my life around into a positive direction.
Brien will take the SAT on Saturday and that is kind of a milestone and the gateway to his new life. A life that I will be much less involved in and that scares me. I really do love being a mother and even though the chaos has me on the brink of insanity, I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
That has gotten me thinking lately about my own parents and how much trouble I gave them over the years. I’ve really tried to be a good daughter for most of my life. I really do want them to be proud of who I have become and the direction my life is going. They have both given me so much. I feel like I have a good relationship with both of my parents and I want to have that with my boys when they are grown with families of their own.
Last night I got the call that everyone dreads. Julie and Sean called to say that Dad was in the hospital. I hate that I live 2000 miles away. I felt so completely helpless. I know that prayers and faith are important, but sometimes you just want to be there. I wanted to be there reassure him and encourage him and to let him know that I really do love him.
It’s really hard when your parents age and you see them go from (in the case of my Dad) a big, strong, capable and feisty person to someone who has slowed down and is probably looking at several major surgeries to help him find some relief from pain. I’ve always looked up to my Dad as kind of a hero. He went out everyday and provided for his family and put his life on the line to serve his community. He is someone who is tough both mentally and physically. If there is one area in his life that he really excels at aside from law enforcement it is being a Grandpa! My boys absolutely adore him. He has always made my boys feel like they are the most important people in the world.
I think what really came out of all my wandering thoughts is that even at almost 40, I still need my Daddy!
Dad, you need to do whatever you have to, to get healthy and stronger. Like you always told us “Eye of the Tiger!” You need to focus and attack a plan of nutrition and exercise like you would a softball and knock it out of the park. Your family needs you. I know I speak for everyone when I say that we are all willing to help you however we can. If you can survive the Kraken and my teen years, you can survive anything!!!
3 comments:
I really do think that when parents try their very best, and teach what their children need to know through love and example, you can't go wrong. Don't worry Brien (and Wes) will turn out great because their parents were there. There is a great article in the Ensign this month by the way, by Pres. Hinckley, about parenting. I liked it, it made me hopeful, not guilt ridden!
I heard about Uncle Gary and I hope he is well. My mom asked if I wanted to go visit him, and I do, but I can't because of work, school and a sick boy at home today. Anyone who knows me knows I would love to give Gary a hard time when he is basically bed ridden and can't come after me. :)
by the way, email me with the address from my blog so that I can get you set up on the new blog.
Well said. I kept wondering how the Kraken was going to tie in but once again you managed to tie it in beautifully but yet in a very motivating way. I'm telling you, you've got the skills to write a book!
Brien is going to turn out just fine. He's much further ahead than I was at his age. :)Katie
Amen to that Sis. I hope Dad knows how much we all love him. I was about ready to hop on a plane last night. When Italked to mom Sean julie and Steve were all there with her. I love you Holley You always seem to say the right things. Brien will be okay, trust that you have raised him well and leave it up to Heavenly Father.
Post a Comment