I Think I was Abducted by Aliens

Hi Mom,

I'm going to start out and state uncategorically and for the record...I hate daylight-savings-time. Am I the only one who suspects that daylight-savings-time is just a ploy made up by aliens so they can abduct us?  Because I lost an hour and my first thought is “alien abduction” but everyone else is like “No, it’s just daylight savings time” but then when I ask why we’re even doing daylight savings time they act like I am Un-American or something and then they get all grumpy and tell me not to tie up the 911 hot-line anymore.  And it’s doubly sad because they’re probably grumpy because they’re sore from the abduction which is why I always take a pain pill the night of daylight savings time.  Because *I* believe in being prepared. I guess its all those years of being a scout leader and teaching emergency preparedness in Relief Society (and because I can't sleep any more unless I take Aleeve, something about hereditary arthritis blah, blah, blah.)  Or maybe the grumpy 911 operators are actually aliens and they’re exhausted because they had to fit in all those abductions in one hour.  That’s probably pretty taxing.  Aliens are totally the new Santa Claus.  For magically fitting in tons of work in one night…not for being jolly and adorable.

Why the Government who is so much better at wasting things than conserving them decided that it was in our best interest to rip an hour of our lives away, I will never understand. The fact of the matter is that the sun rises when it rises and sets when it sets and we can spin our clock hands as many times as we want, but sunlight still only lasts for about 12 hours and 45 minutes.

And you can't blame the farmers because they actually lobbied against it. In typical government fashion they thought they knew better than everyone else.

There was an actual study done that showed a major spike in traffic accidents and fatal industrial mishaps on the Monday after we spring forward. The reason, presumably, is because losing even a single hour of sleep over the weekend makes a lot of people a bit drowsier on what we might usefully call Black Monday. Unfortunately, there’s no compensating effect of a super-safe Monday as we go off DST and “fall back” in the autumn. I could totally see the ramifications of less weekend sleep this morning on my commute to work. So this study is true!

The conclusion is that DST is deadly. But maybe we should keep that troubling little fact to ourselves, before Congress decides to impose the National Bedtime Hour.

So in essence I hate daylight-savings-time and the Government.