Triscuit, a Cheez-It and Pocket full of whatever

Some people blog so that they can encourage you in the faith.

Others want to show you how to have a more warm and welcoming home.

And some folks love nothing more than sharing recipes that will make feeding your family easier.

But me?

Well, I consider it my personal mission to keep you abreast of the latest developments in the field of snack crackers.

Yes. I know. It is an intimidating assignment. But sometimes the Lord calls us to uncomfortable places, my friends.

And listen. The last couple of months have been rife with opposition as far as snack crackers are concerned, as evidenced by the fact that a certain 20year-old recently asked me to please buy Cheese Nips at the grocery store. I was totally puzzled by his request since everybody knows that Cheez-Its are far superior to Cheese Nips, so I said, “Hey, buddy – I think you meant Cheez-Its. The ones that we usually get.”

“No, Mom,” he replied. “I really did mean Cheese Nips. I think they’re cheesier. And better. I am studying to be a chef and I have developed a more discerning palate.”

I stood still as a stone for a second, and then the emotion of the moment took over.

“I’VE FAILED!” I cried. “I’VE FAILED AS A MOTHER! I HAVE A CHILD WHO DOESN’T APPRECIATE THE CHEEZ-IT! A CHILD WHO CHOOSES CHEESE NIPS! I’VE FAILLLLLLLLLLLED!”

And then I collapsed in a heap in my kitchen and was only brought back to consciousness when my husband opened a fresh box of Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its and waved them under my nose.

The manchild and I really did have a big laugh about the whole Cheese Nips vs. Cheez-Its debacle, and I think he’s since fallen under fresh conviction about the error of his ways.

But then – THEN – the most unexpected thing happened. A few days after we set the record straight about our cheese cracker preferences (I recognize that everybody has the freedom to make their own cheese cracker choices, but as for me and my house, we will purchase the Cheez-Its), we were in the Walmarts and saw something that we’d never seen before.





They’re Ritz Munchables Pretzel Rounds. I was immediately intrigued, because was it a cracker? Or a pretzel? Or a cretzel? Or a pracker? I NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.

So we bought a box. And OH, MY. I picked the Cheesy Sour Cream & Onion flavor because honestly that particular flavor combination seemed so wrong that it had to be right, and can I just tell you that THEY ARE DELICIOUS? They’re very crackery on the front end, almost to the point that you can envision eating them with a slice of cheese, but then suddenly the pretzel part kicks in and your mouth gets a little confused in the most delightful way because guess what? YOU’RE TOTALLY EATING A CRETZEL.

I haven’t found any sort of dip situation that would be complimentary to the Ritz Munchables – at least not to this flavor – but they’re so tasty on their own that you don’t miss the dip. They remind me of these really good seasoned oyster crackers that one of the sisters I visit-teach makes sometimes, and there’s an element of Chicken In A Biscuit, too. But I’m telling you: it’s that cracker-to-pretzel metamorphosis that really makes these prackers special. I will most definitely buy them again.

Have y’all tried them? And if there’s another cracker / pretzel / salty snack food that you’ve tried recently, BY ALL MEANS share the name of it with the class. Don’t hide your snack cracker light in a bushel – let it shine!

And all God’s people said, “Amen.”
And they also said, “Pass those crackers.”
Or at least I like to think that they did.

But now I'm low-carbing friends. I'm staying away from the snack crackers in the hopes of someday not being the squatty, round munchkin in all of our family photos. But I will hold onto the Cretzel dream people!