I have been traveling around my little corner of the country lately giving lectures to other schools about how Elon does their admissions recruiting. For my presentations I have been using an Apple iPad. I love it and its got me coveting something that I can’t really afford, nor need.
Yesterday during a break I was watching an episode of House Hunters on HGTV online. In the episode a single lady was looking to move from her traditional family home in the suburbs to a small one-bedroom apartment in the city. She planned to get rid of her car and her gardening tools and all kinds of other stuff she wouldn’t need in a city dwelling.
When she bought her home in the suburbs she was excited about all the room, hosting family events, decorating, gardening and all the other romantic notions that come with home ownership. But ultimately, she found it all to be just too much. She said she really sort of felt burdened by all of her stuff and the space and all that it required of her. And as it turns out, her family didn’t come to visit all that much. So, she decided to make a radical lifestyle change and scale back to the bare essentials.
As I watched I thought about my own home with its big back yard and large walk-in closet in my master bedroom that is filled with stuff, half of which I don’t even know what it is.
I know of another lady who is married and has grown children. Her husband is an executive and they are very well off. Like most couples in their tax bracket, they had accumulated and collected a house full of precious and lovely things that go along with fine living.
One day they had a garage sale and sold everything. And I do mean every thing. They moved from a home of several thousand square feet into a small town home that overlooks a river in a much smaller town, Saxapahaw. They have a pantry and one closet, with a couple of hooks and shelves and one chest of drawers between the two of them. They have just one each of the things they need instead of one in every color, like many of us do.
When I visited her home and saw her one or two hooks and one or two shelves for all of her clothes, I couldn’t imagine not having a walk in closet! But honestly, in spite of having a closet full of clothes, I wear the same five or six outfits most of the time. If I were willing to make a radical change, I could probably get by with a couple of shelves and hooks and be perfectly happy.
Radical change.
How do you get to the point where you are willing to make the leap out of your comfort zone into something so different? Even if all that comfort seems a little heavy and not all that comfortable.
Is it a push? Is it something sharp and pointed that pokes you out of your nest?
Or is it a pull? A sweet and lyrical song that draws you away into another life?
Or is it merely discontent?
I don’t know. I have been thinking a lot lately about making a radical lifestyle change, but unlike Dr. Doolittle, I don’t have a Pushmepullyou, so maybe its discontent. Or maybe it’s just a case of the empty nest blues.
I have been a bit introspective of late. I think it’s been since I got word that a dear family friend had passed away. As I talked with people and we shared memories of this remarkable man, it occurred to me that everything we talked about related to an experience: a trip or a family celebration of some sort. Our memories did not revolve around anything material. It was all about his spirit, his charm and wit and his amazing example of Christ like love.
The thing is, when you think about making a radical lifestyle change, you have to consider not just the burden of the material “stuff” littering your emotional landscape, but also the burden of psychological obligations – like blogs, social media, television, book clubs and other things that you have made space for in your life that require attention and maintenance.
So maybe instead of selling all my stuff, I’ll get a radical haircut instead. Dane would hate that though!
I guess as I enter into this new phase in my life…a life without the daily responsibilities of parenting, it’s time to figure out what are my priorities in life: what do I need…not just what I want.
How about you? I would love to hear about how you balance your wants vs. needs.
To my dear friend “Grandpa S” you made a difference in my life!
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3 comments:
Great post! In response to your question, i recently watched a segment on a Utah daytime talk show that was about "the beauty of leaving things undone". Obviously I never get everything done but it was about enjoying the fact that you decided or made the choice to leave something undone. I have to continuely remind myself that I can choose what's the most important things for me to get done. Lately that includes a nap and rest...i use the pregnant belly excuse. Then I glory in the fact that my room looks like it did in HS and my husband still loves me. Also, i choose to help my 2nd grader with his homework vs cleaning my house...ya my house is pretty much a wreck but when I consider the people who i most felt loved around or who put people before "the list" didn't have the cleanest house in the world. I guess you could say I'm trying to have more "inner peace" about putting people first instead of things. (and that was way too long of a response for a blog comment!) Has been on my mind though:)
At our ward Halloween party an older gentleman dressed as a hippie and wore a long wig. In an exasperated tone he remarked, "I don't know how women do this!" as he shoved the hair away from his face.
I told him, that is why women cut their hair despite the protestations of the men in their life.
Start with doing something that will make you feel good. Not a selfish act, but something that will in the end help you to feel good about you.
I like that idea Jeanna. Start out small, do something that does make you feel good about yourself and see where you go from there. But if the feeling of needing a change continues to come to you, seriously find out why. Sometimes thoughts come to us for a reason. We just may not act on them becuase of fear ot the unkown. Because you don't want to rock the boat. But sometimes change is exactly what we need. Love you.
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