I don't know if any of you can help me with this problem, but any suggestions would be helpful.
I am struggling with my calling in church. I was originally called to be the Enrichment Counselor in the Relief Society presidency. Which kind of flew out the window after the last women's broadcast in September. Now I'm the second counselor, but still my primary responsibility is in planning the "Additional" Relief Society meetings.
I'm struggling because our president has a vision of using these extra meetings as a way of doing more community service. The problem is that we can't even really get people to attend the extra meetings let alone participate in a service project. I feel so overwhelmed.
I used to have an enrichment board...although it was comprised of the sisters that they were hoping to get more involved by giving them a pseudo calling and that failed miserably because those sisters don't want to be involved. They would occasionally come to meetings but all they would do is complain and they would never come to the event or help out.
Our presidency is in a state of flux as well. The first counselor is having some burnout issues of her own and has not attended the last activity nor has she been at church for the last 6 weeks. The secretary works almost every Sunday and so I find that I'm juggling that job as well as my own duties.
I want so much to be a support and help to the president because I know that she works so hard to serve the sisters in our ward and she has a young family to care for as well.
I'm just sort of upset and disgusted at the sisters in the ward. It seems that the women particularly those who are serving in other organizations like primary, sunday school and young women don't think that Relief Society is important. I realize that everyone has a busy life...I'm busy too with a full-time job and a family. However Relief Society is the Lord's organization, not mine. I wholeheartedly agreed with the changes that were made in September and understand that if we are going to ask the women to leave their families for an additional meeting...it should be worth their time and help them to develop skills that will bless their homes and families and strengthen their testimonies and families. But how do you do that if they won't come?
We had a sister in our ward who recently passed away from breast cancer and so the president wanted to organize a Relay for Life team in honor of this sister. We did it last year and it was pretty successful...we had a good turnout but we also had a lot more people before our ward was split. Now I feel like I'm begging everyone to be involved. We got special permission to do a fundraiser for Relay for Life because that is the main purpose of the Relay...to raise money for cancer. But so far I'm doing all of this by myself. I don't feel like I can burden the president with my feelings because she is already dealing with so much.
I've been trying everything I can think of to get the sisters more actively engaged. I've even started a RS Blog and I spotlight a different sister each week and have invited people to submit preparedness tips and recipes etc. But all to no avail...its crickets. I've received a couple of comments but the sisters are completely missing the point. I don't want the blog to be a forum where I preach to them about what they need to be doing. I want it to be a place where we can share ideas and edify and uplift each other in a way that is easy and doesn't require you to leave home.
I know this rant has been long and I don't really expect any answers...but if you have some suggestions I would appreciate it.
I can totally see why its important to have a testimony of the Gospel and not people.
Sign me Disenchanted with Relief Society!
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5 comments:
So I guess I need to get my butt to the RS activities. ;) Just kidding I know this isn't the purpose of your post. I think we all forget the effort and the intentions of these activities. We get focused on all the time we're already giving to our own callings. But when I do go, I'm always glad that I made the effort. Good ole Satan seems to work on us so we won't get there.
Personally, i don't see the problem with discussing your concerns with your president b/c obviously there are quite a few. I don't think letting it go longer will help. That's just me though...i wish i had more experience in this dept...we'll see what some of the veterans like Julie and Jeanna have to say. :) As for me, I'll stick to primary while I can.
One thing our RS does is involve a lot of the sisters in these activities by utilizing their talents. Recently there was an activity that I might have missed because Adam had to work, but I was asked to sing in a group and so I made the arrangements to go. Ask sisters to sing to give lessons and to bring treats. We often have a sister give a demonstration on how to cook a dish or make a craft. That would get more involved and maybe if a certain sister were involved it would get her closer friends to come too.
Do you ever have a combined activity with the young women? We do this once a year and it is a great turnout, we make it like a mother daughter event and then some, this may get the YW leaders out too. Not attending these is not typical of me, because I like going to these things. To me it is a great way to get away from the norm of home life and I get to see friends I like.
Sometimes I think people forget too. We have an e-mail group and the lady sends an e-mail reminder around the day before or the day of. You might even want to assign some sisters to call. Sometimes a personal invite is the key.
I'm all for service, but you are right the sister have to want to come because it will benefit them too. Could you get someone who is well known in the community to come speak? That might draw a crowd, who knows.
Anyway I know this is frustrating, I have been there when I was in the Singles Ward. You work so hard and noone shows. Just remember the Lord will bless your efforts and not the outcome, especially if you have done your best.
I understand everything you said. I've had the calling before - I think it is universal to anyone who has severed in that capacity.
Do talk to your president - at a presidency meeting. Do you even have time for those though? If you do, then share your concerns there and come with some ideas for solution to at least get brainstorming going. If you can't all sit down together, talk to the president anyway.
For sure talk to the pres. She has been given the mantle of the authority and she has also been given the ability to handle the mantle. Let her help.
I was enrichment counselor for a long time and it was crazy. Lots of people completely being offensive and unsupportive. It was hard. I always swore I'd be a huge supporter.
Guess what? Even though I've lived in this ward for 10 years, I still feel weird about going to extra RS activities. I cannot put my finger on it. I mean, what is my problem?
Seems like service would get more people out. When it is just about "us" we tend to think it's ok to let it go, but when other people are in need, we come out in droves.
I think utilizing their talents is an excellent idea. Forces them to the activity and then they find they enjoy it. Maybe the next time when Old Scratch is telling them they don't need to go, they'll remember how great it was the time before.
The Lord has also given you a mantle, and the ability to handle it. Think of us as your cheerleaders!!! GO HOLLEY GO!!!
I totally agree with what everyone has said. You need to talk to the president. It can't be fixed if she doesn't know how you feel. You just need to have a prayer within your heart has you do, ask Heavenly Father to help you know what to say to express your feelings in a way that she will be receptive and understanding and you guys can work on this together. You do have things going on in your life and can't be expected to be wonder woman all the time. I like the ideas of including the other woman by aksing them to help out in teaching the lessons or helping out with decorating and refreshments. Even if you don't have committees make your own committees. And send out reminders to all the ladies in the ward and do things that will get the primary and YW leaders involved. And lastly do be strong and don't give up. I truly believe that you will be blessed by your efforts alone, even if it is one person that you help or just you alone, or even just being supportive to the President because the others are flaky that is okay. Send out a thing with all sorts of acitivities on them and ask the sisters to rifht down their top 3-5 picks of activities they would like to do and see if you can get some activities that way.
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