The Making of a MORON!

Before y’all (remember that’s North Carolinian for You All) go filling my head with all your nice little comments on how I am NOT a moron ... you may want to read this:

I went to the gas station yesterday at lunch time to fill the gas tank up, which was below empty (SHHH don’t tell my husband). I put that metal piece on the gas nozzle down so it would fill without me holding onto the handle, then I went into the gas station to get a drink. I looked at all the drinks, didn't like what I saw, started to walk out, when the candy and gum aisle caught my eye…you see they were shiny and pretty in their colorful wrappers. So I grabbed a pack of gum, went to pay, and when I walked out of the store, I saw a fountain of gasoline spewing from my car's gas tank. And I do NOT mean a little trickle. It was definitely a fountain. The metal piece that holds the handle up didn't click off when the tank filled up.

So, basically, I paid for my 14 gallons of gas to fill a 12 gallon tank.

Nice.

I got into my car, hung my head and placed my hand to my forehead (just in case the video cameras were capturing me -- the moron -- and nervously started the car. I was so scared it would blow up, that I prayed ... "Heavenly Father, if it's my time to go, and this CRV’s gonna blow ... make it fast and painless. InJesusnameamen." (I found myself saying the same prayer at the stop light.) Then I drove to the car wash so I could fireproof wash my car. Then I went back to work smelling faintly of Eau D’Gasoline …it’s French and very expensive.

So y’all see? I have once again proven beyond a measure of doubt that I am indeed a moron.

(And, NO! I did not tell the attendant what I did, and I did not request a refund. I just got the H-E-doublehockeysticks out of there!)

How embarrassing! And, for the record... I'll hurt you if you tell anyone what I did. Pinky promise you won't, 'kay?

Hey -- if someone goes to that very same gas station, drops a cigarette butt, and blows themselves up, can I be arrested for homicide? Just wondering!

Back to your regularly scheduled program...