Mean Moms Unite!

I had to laugh yesterday when I read about my sister and her experience with her 6 year-old son. She has recently been awarded the title of meanest mom ever and her son wanted to run away because he thought that would make her be nicer. Too funny!

I remember all to clearly when I stopped being the hero of my children’s lives and started to be the enemy.

There was the occasional outburst during ages 6,7 8 while they were testing my mom stamina and consistency. Ages 9, 10 and 11 got a little better and it was pretty smooth sailing for awhile and I thought to myself, WOW self you are really good at this parenting thing. Kids get good grades, play well with their peers, teachers rave about their behavior etc. However now that they are teens I have been relegated to meanest mom of the universe, I have the sash and tiara to prove it.

I love my kids, but I have to disagree! I have been an excellent mother if I do say so myself. Since there are two of them and one of me, I often have to tell myself that I’m doing a good job. I didn’t even get to have a nice Mother’s Day last year. They didn’t just forget about it, they went out of their way to be extremely obnoxious, rude and mean. Their reason evidently was that I am an imperfect parent.

First off, I never listen. This charge is leveled often at me. There might be some truth to it. My accuser usually levels this charge of imperfect parenting after I have said no to whatever demand said child is making of me for the 3rd or 4th or 20th time. While I try not to say no often, I wind up saying no often. Apparently my wanting them to get enough sleep, eat well, do homework and help around the house gets in the way of how they think they should be living their lives. So if I were to stand before a jury of my peers, I think I could get a hung jury on this one.

I have been told I tend to communicate by yelling. Again there is quite a bit of truth to this particular charge concerning my imperfect parenting. This one I have to plead 'No Contest' to….with extenuating circumstances (I am not a lawyer, by the way, though I do watch way too much Law and Order.) My children, while having normal hearing, are Mom deaf. If I ask them to do something in a normal tone of voice, said action will most likely not be accomplished. Hence, the yelling. A jury of my peers would no doubt convict and sentence me on a week-long cruise to some place warm and sandy.

I am also accused of being cheap. I will not pay for dates, multiple expensive hair products, especially for hair that is only ½ inch long. I will not pay for more than ten dollars worth of home snacks a week. I make them earn their gas money, pay their own car insurance and cell phone fees. I refuse to pay their over due library fines... Brien almost didn’t graduate from high school because of his library fines. I do pay for food, a reasonable clothing allowance, shelter, and college. Case dismissed.

The last charge of imperfect parenting leveled at me is how I refuse to enter the 21st century. I don’t seem to understand how I am damaging their lives because I won’t pay for a cable upgrade that gives us DVR service and premium movie channels. We still have dial-up internet and so they can’t play online games or get into other online mischief. The only computer hooked up to the internet is in a place where anyone in the family can see what you are doing and I won’t release the parental controls and give them full access. I block the cell phones so that they can’t use that for the internet. They can’t download ring tones and cell phone games without a password that only I have. They tell me that I just don’t understand how difficult I make their lives because I won’t embrace the technological advances of this era.

I am the product of imperfect parents and I swore I would never be like them. However now that I am in the parenting trenches, I am admittedly an imperfect parent. And I am perfectly fine with that.