I am quite certain that at some point in the next few hours my left eyeball is going to shoot out of my skull like a cannon and splatter on my computer screen. And while I’ll probably think “EWWWW, that’s pretty gross,” I don’t think I’ll mind the relief, OH THE SWEET MERCIFUL RELIEF from the relentless sinus pressure. I’ve actually been writing commencement news releases with my left eye closed, and I’ve concluded that I’ll more than likely be okay vision-wise when my eye does in fact separate from its socket. Of course I can’t vouch for the accuracy of my press releases…. Who cares nobody reads those things anyway. It’s just one of those jobs that’s ALWAYS been done and so you must do it so that you supervisor can cross something off of his to-do-list.
Plus eye patches can be mysterious and sexy and they apparently come in a variety of colors and patterns so that you can coordinate with your wardrobe.... SEE
See? I CAN be positive!
Ever since moving to outer Mongolia AKA North Carolina my head has been like a weather balloon. My sinus cavities became filled with Every Known Bacteria when I spent 6 months living with Dane’s grandmother who’s basement was filled with toxic mold and I’ve had chronic sinus problems ever since, although to be fair I did have some problems before I moved here. I just like to blame all of my life’s ills on the move to North Carolina. I have a friend who also suffers from sinus issues and from time to time we like to compare notes on the severity of our symptoms, but ever since I had the sinus infection that went into my eyes and transformed said eyes into goopy red slits, I’ve considered myself the hands-down champion.
I am understandably proud.
Perhaps I should get a trophy.
So I’m going to continue taking my allergy medicine and stuffing my nose with various mentholated items. The good news is that I don’t feel bad at all other than the eyeball thing, so I can continue to write stupid press releases and pretend that I care about all of the kids graduating Elon tomorrow. I will care in the year 2012 because then MY kid will be graduating and you can bet I’ll read the press release.
And if my eyeball does in fact shoot out of my skull, I’ll just clean that mess right up and get back to work, because that’s what we working moms do, we just keep on plugging along. Because our sick leave is not really for when we are sick, its for taking care of the family when they are sick.
1 comment:
Although my experience isn't as severe as yours I would like to relate the following: While serving in my last area in Paisley, Scotland I developed some sort of hay fever/allergy. I was dripping for 1 month solid but the worst part was that the inner mucosa of my eye socket was inflamed to the point that when I would blink the mucosa would be squished by the upper and lower eyelids. It was disgusting.
Needless to say, I have hated any kind of paisley print from that month forward.
I think an eye patch would be quite stylish, arggh.
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