Yesterday I was driving to the gym on my lunch hour and I realized that I was on empty and had better get to a gas station. This is a fairly common occurrence as I live in my car most weeks.
I pulled into the gas station and got out of the car to pump my gas. There were a group of three guys, college age I am guessing because I was close to Elon University where I work and I am just amazingly intuitive that way, they were at the next pump over and were looking at me. I pumped my gas and as I went to get back into my car I noticed that they were turning and smiling at me. It’s not everyday that I get noticed by men. I think the whole strong-independent-full figured-Cruella D’Ville gray and brown hair- mother of teenagers-drives a station wagon is a real turn off for men flirting with me. I don’t know why, gray hair and red station wagon scream, “WHAT A CATCH!” to me.
So, I began to get a little big headed, thinking to myself that even though I am 8, 10, 12, 15, 20 years older than they are (Oh my word, I just realized that I could, in theory, be their mother. Eeeewww) I still have it going on.
I smiled back and got into my car and began to drive off. One of them waved and as I went to wave back I glanced into the outside mirror and realized that my gas tank was open and the gas cap was swinging down the side of the car.
I pulled the brake and got out of the car to close it all up, which involved having to do a little dosey do around another car trying to maneuver into the station. I gave a little wave and laughed, happy that I didn’t slip and fall like I typically do, because that would be embarrassing.
I got back in the car, feeling like I was all that and a bag of chips. I looked into the rear view mirror to adjust my sunglasses and noticed that I had drool coming out of my mouth and down my chin.
And then I came to the sad realization, they weren’t looking at me because they thought I was hot, they were looking at me because they we were wondering what a retarded woman was doing driving a car.
A retarded woman who was old enough to be their mother.
Might not be able to do much about the drooling problem, but I do have an appointment to deal with my Cruella D'Ville hair on Saturday!
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2 comments:
That is so harsh. I spent some serious time this semester thinking that I fit right in. A couple of comments like "Its so great you went back to school" pretty much killed me feeling like one of the young ones. Then I had friends in class who were born after I had started my first semester of college the first time around.
I guess I'm not a hot sexy threat like I thought I was.
Hey Girls, there are a couple guys that think you're hot, and you know that's all that matters--they're named Dane and Harold, ok? So don't act like you're revelling in all this insecurity. Please! You know that's not the way it is.
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