Parenting older children is hard. They don’t really have those moments of overwhelming cuteness, the kind where you want to grab them and bite their cheeks, so great is their cuteness. At least with toddlers you have that. That is their survival mechanism; toddlers have evolved to be so cute so that parents won’t throttle them or drop them off in the wilderness. If you don’t believe me just check out Julie, Sarah or Katie’s blog. Compare their adorable little trouble-makers with my big, hulking, gorilla children.
Last night I was musing on what the survival mechanism of teenagers could be. I came up with the fact that they are now the same size, or larger than you, that alone makes throttling difficult. And forget about dropping them in the middle of the wilderness. They know how to get back home, probably before you.
A friend of mine told me once that teenagers behave the way they do so that you won’t be too sad to see them move out.
Last night I had to wear my I AM THE MOM hat; the one which co-ordinates perfectly with my BECAUSE I SAID SO t-shirt. I hate wearing those.
I don’t mean to keep complaining about my teenagers because the truth is I am really very blessed. They are not on drugs, they get decent grades (there is still a lot of room for improvement this semester) but for the most part school is going well. I’m not a grandmother yet and that is always a good sign. They have good friends and other than a severe case of self-absorptionitis they are good kids.
I just don’t understand why they feel the need to argue with everything. I feel like I’m stupid. I’m not claiming to be the smartest person on the face of the Earth but prior to my sons teen years, I got credit for knowing a few things. Now? Well, now I am probably the stupidest person ever. Whereas I once had the answers to everything, I currently know nothing. And when I say nothing, I mean I have the intelligence of a rock where my teens are concerned. Other people probably think I am still smart, so I guess I can rest comfortably in that. The good news? As my teens grow-up-- and it may take until they have kids of their own-- I will once again be brilliant (My mother gives Einstein a run for his money). I just have to ride out my stupidity for now. It's okay. I am the Stupid Mother of Know-It-All Teens. I should start a club. Maybe we could have meetings, but we are probably not quite smart enough to plan any.
I guess I just need to remember that even at their worst, even when they slam doors or roll their eyes, they need me. They will never tell me that. They will never even admit it to themselves, but they do need me. That little toddler that was learning to walk and knew without a doubt that should he fall, I would be there to help him up and get him back on his feet? He is still in there. And he is still counting on me to help him up when he falls and get him back up on his feet again. After all isn’t that what I signed up for when I made the decision to procreate? I love my boys with all my heart, but right now they are my biggest challenge!
4 comments:
If you find enough brain cells in there to form a club, sign me up as a junior member. I would be willing to take lessons from the seasoned folks who adorn the halls of the unknowing and unwise. I don't think I can become a full fledged member yet as I haven't received that look, the one where you know that they know that they know way more than we do. It's coming though, that is why I will need membership immediately.
Good luck with your bundles of joy (that is what we used to call them, isn't it?)
Holley, your posts crack me up. I know they are probably an outlet for you, but your writing ability is so awesome. I can't help but chuckle when i read your posts. Have you written any books? Let me know when you do!!
If you dropped those guys off in the wilderness, they would not make it back. They would irritate a big bear who would devour them. So drop them off with the narf. Maybe he'll save them...hm hmm.
Once again, well said! you need to make a copy of your writings so I can read them when my boys are teens....NOT that I'm in a hurry for that day to come or anything. I know I was a little sh#* in high school and it will be my turn to parent that kind of attitude soon enough! Broox already tells me that he doesn't like me and he's four! :)Katie
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