Toddler Tales from Florida

Raising boys has been a rip-roaring, hair-curling and graying, roller coaster of a ride. They have certainly kept me on my toes and they have made my life very interesting.

Both of my boys are incredibly curious and that curiosity has gotten us all into lots of hot water.

For instance, have you ever wondered what would happen if you decided to take your etch-a-sketch outside and smash it open with a rock?

No? Me neither. I was always content to turn the little dials and try in vain to make something other than a staircase. I did not need to understand the mysterious inner workings of the etch-a-sketch.

But my son Wes did.

And so one time he smashed one open and then proceeded to smear the silver dust all over himself and a bunch of his toys out in the yard. Oh what fun! What joy! What merriment!

Until I snapped him out of his revelry with my spastic yelling.

I sent him inside to wash up, stomping loudly behind him, with explicit instructions not to touch anything, which whoa boy is so funny. How can I turn on the water if I can’t touch anything? Har har har. Not funny.

There was much snickering at the kitchen sink. I made a valiant effort to maintain my angry facade while looking at my silver coated child. I would have been successful too had Brien not come into the kitchen to see what was going on.

“Oh my Gosh Mom what did you do to Wes?” “What did I do to Wes?!” I said, gesturing wildly to the child. “I didn’t do anything TO Wes! He did it to himself!”

Then Brien starts howling and says “He looks just like the Tin-Man from the Wizard of Oz!”

At that point, I had to take a really good look at my 7-year old son and I started laughing hysterically because he did look just like the Tin-Man!

That in a nutshell is what its like to raise boys!

Which brings me to the real point of this blog post. My brother Gary, who is a doctor by the way, has two boys that remind me so much of my own. They are hyper and curious and funny and wild and adorable all at the same time. Being with them is like being trapped inside of a pinball machine, which I don’t mind at all because it’s quite familiar territory for me.

While we were in Florida for Gary’s graduation, he’s a DOCTOR by the way; we went to this restaurant called Flavors for dinner.

Imagine if you will a very laid-back kind of new-age environment. Funky décor (see picture) great family style dining and incredible food; and the night we were there, they had live music.

Well we were all sitting down waiting for our orders and playing games and just enjoying the music and laid back atmosphere. Gary’s son Cooper had to go to the bathroom because he is only 3 and that’s what 3-year-olds do...it was inevitable.

Gary took Cooper to the men’s room and got him situated and then came out to visit with the family…leaving Cooper alone in the bathroom. Gary was positioned at the table so that he could see the bathroom door so that nobody could go in and bother him and we were practically the only people there at the time. Gary was only out of the bathroom for what amounted to 2… 3 minutes tops when all of a sudden we hear Cooper wailing.

Gary goes rushing into the bathroom and this is what he finds…

Cooper with only his shirt on, crying in the middle of the floor, the lid to the toilet is on the floor and water is shooting out of the wall.

The kid got curious about the toilet and wanted to investigate it. While he was checking out the toilet, he sees the water shut-off valve for the toilet and thinks that it’s some kind of water fountain and decides he’s thirsty and needs a drink. It must have been screwed on pretty tightly and so Cooper must have stood on it in order to turn the valve and somehow it broke off from the wall.

One of the funniest parts of the whole incident though was Gary’s reaction, he comes sauntering into the main area and very politely says to the manager, “Uh, there is a little bit of a problem in the men’s room, there is water shooting out from the wall.” The way he said it was like he was informing them that they were out of toilet paper…very calm. The next time you see Gary he’s outside pacing around outside his car and counting to 10, 100, 1 million, so that he doesn’t murder his 3-year-old right there in the parking lot.

The restaurant people had to shut off the water to the entire restaurant and call in a plumber and an emergency clean-up crew.

When I found out what was going on all I could do was laugh because 15 years ago, that would have been me and it was so funny to see someone else in my family have to deal with an incredibly intelligent and precocious little boy.

What kind of a 3-year-old toddler goes into a bathroom and says to himself "Hmm, I think I'll dismantle the toilet while I'm in here!"

A McGiven Toddler that's who!!

It’s going to be a lot of fun watching Gary and Katie try to handle that kid.

I am convinced we are going to see Great things from Cooper one day!