Antiquated or Twitterpated?

I believe that cyber relationships are real. They can be substantive and satisfying; sometimes even more so than those with people in our real lives. I would never scoff at someone who described a cyber acquaintance as a "friend".

I myself have a small circle of cyber friends who mean the world to me, and whom have been more steadfast and supportive than many of the people I meet face to face. That connection to friends and family is the main reason I enjoy blogging and reading blogs.

So I'm certainly not knocking anyone who reaches out to people on the internet, whether they are looking for friendship, romance, or just some intelligent conversation with people who share views, values and interests.

That is certainly why I am here. I live in Far Far Away with Shrek as my neighbor and not much family around. This has been the hardest thing for me as a person from a large family. I miss everyone, but while I do have a facebook page, I’m finding it very unfulfilling and superfluous. Not to mention frustrating in the extreme with all of the requests for fish and plants and weird weapons for homemakers. While I do try to ignore these things, it feels as if they are taunting me and to ignore a request from someone who is important to me, no matter how incredibly inane, feels like a betrayal of sorts. So at first I accepted every “gift” and before I realized how I could opt out of sending it to everyone else, I was guilty of much inanity.

I will admit that Facebook is the only connection I have with some of my family. Maybe I should be grateful for small favors even if the “communication” makes me shake my head with worry.

It feels like the world is rapidly changing, thanks to "social networking" sites, which are reducing our interactions with one another to sound bytes and status updates.

There's an old song from a 70s musical called "A Chorus Line". In the song, the singer laments "Who am I anyway? Am I my resume?"

It concerns me that we are all being reduced to "profiles" and communication is being reduced to 140 characters. It's depersonalizing. It is also desensitizing. When any of us become reduced to such soundbytes (or textbytes, as the case may be), communication degrades. Real communication requires time and effort. Do you really think anyone cares what color your couch is or what you are cooking for dinner?

Friendships take effort. Friendships take authenticity. They take.. excuse the expression... emotional investment. They take time. The kind of caring we all long for isn't something that can be automated or made convenient. But then the art of being a true friend is something that I feel is being lost in our society.

We minimalize ourselves into short paragraphs and call that "connecting". We reduce ourselves to snippets, skill sets and a litany of interests, even though we are all complex individuals with different qualities and interests at different times.

It seems like science fiction, doesn't it? But think about it. Are there days when you don't actually talk to someone using your voice? I have my husband and children of course, but there are days that I speak to no one else, personally. Strangely, I rarely experience a sense of isolation, because on those days, although I don't speak to anyone, I communicate with a number of individuals through various mediums; Email, text, Facebook, blog comments...

Our world is growing ever smaller thanks to technological advances in communication and digital media. Our computers are a window to the world.

But sometimes, it might be a good idea to shut the window, open a door, and step out.

And that's why I dislike all these so-called "social" media sites. They are not social at all. They are socially isolating, self-limiting, and insular. They facilitate a sense of community and perpetrate the illusion of inclusion, while drastically reducing the sphere and depth of our interaction.

We will become less and less likely to open our doors and speak to our fellows one on one, when it is so easy to simply pop up the computer and cyber-shout to anyone who might be listening.

As I stated before I do have a facebook account. So I suppose, in some ways, I am being a huge hypocrite. However for me find it very lonely and somewhat shallow. I will allow for the fact that I probably don’t know what I’m talking about because I hardly ever use it. Maybe my kids are right and I just don’t understand.

This kind of cyber-crowding is really no different than being in an overly-crowded room. We scratch the surface and move on. We get bumped and jostled, facebooked and twittered. I for one want to breathe fresh air.

I’m sure most of you probably disagree with me and that’s ok, I’m used to it…I have teenagers.