My husband and I have been parenting teens for about 4 years now and are feeling a bit used and abused. We are probably right on schedule for that what goes around comes around cosmic retribution - we all pay for our teenage sins! Actually Dane was a good kid and is probably being punished because of my teenage sins, guilt by association; this probably falls under the for worse category (sorry honey!) With apologies to, um, God, let me share with you what I h
ave gathered thus far:1. Thou shalt not make any small talk with random strangers in line at the grocery store, for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
2. Remember thou art for transportation and money purposes only. Any other attempts at relevancy shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
3. Thou shalt not attempt to engage guest teens riding in thou's vehicle in either verbal or eye contact, yet, thou shall neither be totally quiet in said vehicle, either, for thou shall be deemed "weird", and, this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
4. Thou shalt not covet thine own small electronics, for they are no longer really thou's, and, any attempt to retrieve them from teen shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
5. Even though thou knows better, thou shalt try thou's hardest to refrain from emitting the words like “Bling” or “Homie” or any other slang you’ve picked up from TV for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
6. Thou shalt not make any reference in public that thou has driven the teen to an event lest anyone find out that the 15 year old didn't drive himself to said event for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
7. Thou shalt not play music of any kind that can be heard outside the car if thou is picking up the teen from soccer/band practice or any other place where other teens may be present for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
8. Thou shalt not perform any robotic dance moves in public despite their effectiveness for getting said teen to do what you ask for this actually might affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
9. Though shalt not converse with or otherwise acknowledge a teacher outside of school business, even when said teacher is an actual friend for this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
10. Thou seriously shalt not ask, "Where are they going?" when teen comments about two friends who are "going out" for this is not nearly as amusing to the teen and this shall affect the teen's reputation in a negative way.
4 comments:
That was hilarious, absolutely hysterical. I loved it. I need to take some notes, I am fast approaching teenhood.
That was sooo clever and funny! Thank you for sharing and for giving me a good laugh here at work.
Holly, I am so happy you posted on our blog. How fun to connect with you again. This will help me get to know you a little better. We will most likely experience what you have in moving away from Utah that you don't get to know people or new in-laws and such when the family changes. Such is life, right.
Your teenager ten commandents is hilarious. I could visualize each scene in my head. More likely from my own experiences wincing a little at the thought that it really will come back to me.
Let's just say that having teenagers scares me. You start out with these cute little babies and it tricks you, because you never think of teenagers then. I will be calling you in 10 years or so. :)
Holley You crack me up. I am telling you, you need to have your own newspaper column, writing on random stuff like this. Wesley keep working out the guns just aren't big enough. Brien smile it could be worse. You could of broken your funny bone! HA HA HA.(Good one WES!)
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